Updated: Dec 15, 2020
Looking for something new to read and short on money? You're in the right place, where I'll be featuring aspiring writers and their (free!) work!
We're kicking this new project off with sci-fi comedy thanks to Adrian Ozryth, author of Dip$hits in Space.
An eccentric comedy about space, and the Dipsh**s that end up in it. This hyper-self-aware comedy of stupid proportions centers around Captain William T Lawg (no relation) and his adventures as a guy who managed to afford a refitted soft-top icecream truck in space, in a universe where that's shockingly common. His trusty crew of valiant randos, Marley the tech-bro stoner spacebunny, Duffy the plump and sassy female mechanic, Roy the frigging fabulous Android, and also that other chick is there. Ride with the crew of the notorious Tast-E-Chill to a world of wonder that a lot of other space travelers have already been before, but probably not Lawg, so it's still exciting. with a crew of 3-5 and an IQ of also probably 3-5, The captain putters along to uncharted lands, where history, loot, drama, innuendos of the sexual verity, and various technicolor hoes shall surely be waiting, usually with some form of trap. Prepare yourself for shallow adventure, moderately offensive and overwhelmingly childish scenarios as the crew battle impossible odds, fierce enemies, lack of food and survival tape, and occasionally their own incompetence. Romance, Politics, Originality, this sucker has none of those, and it darn well knows it. raise the sails and grab the rails as a bunch of dipsh**s find themselves...IN SPACE. (Roll dramatic tapering credits, to royalty free trumpet music)
Meet the author and read a sample below:
Tell me a little bit about your writing journey. How long have you been writing, and how did you get started?
I got started when I was 12, mostly as a means to fight depression. I didn’t know I had autism at the time, so I didn’t fit in and was pretty alone. I started on paper and years later transcribed my stuff to computer. I alternated from drawing to writing as a means of escapism for myself. Wasn’t until late high school when I realized anyone might actually read it.
Why sci fi specifically? Is it something you write often, or is this your first venture into the genre?
I actually began in serious and very dark fantasy stuff. My first story being “A story Less Told”, where my favorite MC got his start. I found that my writing was too dark for most, and often just kept me in the dark moods. I decided to break into comedy to provide something more uplifting to the world, and sci-fi just has the widest room for possibility. I was more of a TV buff than a reader, reading mostly textbooks and documents and watching star-trek and star wars. Space is just the ideal open environment for an episodic comedy.
What are your goals for your writing?
My goals are just to provide free entertainment, and something that makes people laugh and get through dark times like I had growing up, where humor and sci-fi got me through a lot of loneliness and depression. I want to create something people can enjoy freely and share, even interact and be part of. Money isn’t a concern here.
What inspired the book?
The book was inspired by the opportunity to make people laugh, but the plot and ideas are based heavily on both Furtrama and Firefly, with some other shows inspired in there. It’s just an excuse to spoof and re-imagine pop culture nostalgia elements, while making something new for the characters to grow. They really fuel the story.
Who is your favorite character in the book and why? Tell me a little about them.
My favorite Character is probably Greg, or “Gizzy” later on. I added Greg as an old character to boost the shock factor. He’s a 15,000 year old alien made of biological and technological parts from a species that run multiple avatars like a mini collective. So Greg ends up in a female body early on, and finds himself swapping more and more for no reason but personal style. He’s aggressive, rude, barbaric, villainous, but also respectable and true to himself, even when himself is herself. Complexity is fun.
What are the challenges of working with a sci fi setting?
The only challenges to working in sci-fi is keeping it from getting too god-tier on the tech. If you make a new technology that fixes everything, you need to work in believable cons to why it can’t be used all the time, or won’t work. I’ve had to break my own devices and ideas to keep them from being a cheat-code to eliminate all conflict.
Do you have anything else you’d like to say to the readers?
With that said I wanna say to the readers, not to give up on your ideas, and don’t write for the money, write because you love it. Set small goals, don’t force yourself into deadlines, just write when you feel inspired to write and don’t be afraid to come back and refine it later. Until you publish it, it’s easy to fix or erase.
"And there she was. A gleaming beacon of polished…whatever it was made of. Aluminum maybe. I got it for a song, a real bargain, but I know why. Yea she is fast but the dealer saw me coming. It takes a lot to fool Captain William T Lawg, but this guy was a pro. He told me the interior was carbon fiber but turns out its mostly plastic and cardboard. Oh well, I can have it swapped out piece by piece over time for something better, something good and light, something that wouldn’t rust up or get old, something like titanium or bitanium. Just think how fast she would be then. I don’t know how many kilos or pounds or yen I could shave off but I bet I could reach like…insane speeds.” said a clearly intoxicated man with jet black hair. His 5 o’clock shadow made him look older than he was but he was brimming with confidence despite his unpolished look.
"I think you had enough soda for now" said the woman with the blue hair.
"Why is that, maybe I'm not done partying?" he said with an eyebrow raised.
"You haven't even left your stool since you have been here. You arrived drunk, pounded back like 8 sodas and you seem to be staying fairly lit for some reason." She pointed out.
"Maybe that's how my party gets started. Anyway so you wanna see my ship?" asked Captain Lawg.
"Not really." The Bartender replied.
"But it's a convertible, that's why it's so fast." He bragged.
"Isn't that a bad characteristic for a space ship?" she asked.
"Only if you are a little battle cruiser or an explorer or a cargo ship." He scoffed.
"I thought you said you were an explorer?" she asked. He gave her a silent stare.
"Different kind of...oh come on, I have everything else. Jumbo minibar, disco ball, hot tub, even an android that I am confident just needs new fuses to work."
"But not a roof?" she noted, raising an eyebrow.
"Hey, I'm not gonna lie to you and say she is a Nerp class cruiser, but a good ship is only as good as its captain and that's what matters, hard-top, canvas top, something better then those, doesn't make a difference when it comes to decisions and reflexes." He said drawing his pistol and spinning it like a cowboy, nearly dropping it.
"Havin trouble there Tex?" she grinned.
"Balance is off, that's why it's so impressive. A normal man couldn't even get it spinning." He said sighing as she noticed it was missing the barrel and reciever, just a handle and trigger, complete with holster.
"What happened to your gun?" she inquired.
"It's a convertible too...shut up. I mean, sure I owe a little money but I can't give them my gun or my ship." He protested, knocking back another shot.
"So you gave them half of both?" she asked.
"Damn right. Finding a ship is impossible with the new registration codes. Every new ship requires a license and inspection, same with the new guns. You can thank the politicians for that. But as long as it pre-dates the ban...perfectly legal."
"But what good is half a gun or half a ship?" she asked.
"That's the beauty of it. Ship's top is just an addition, the registration code is printed on the engine and the main frame column, so you can swap the top all you want baby, ride topless all day and it's perfectly legal. Little canvas and a few cans of flex-spray and you got a ship. Guy on the commercial said you could make a boat out of it with a screen door. If it can hold water, it can hold vacuum, obviously water weights more than vacuum. So technically she may not be a full ship in the normal sense but she flies just fine. All I gotta do is haul some cargo and make payday and I can get whatever top I want, never change the registration code and that sucker at the pawn shop never even asked." He grinned proudly.
"Okay, but isn't the registration number for that handgun printed on the barrel?" she asked. He scoffed and looked down at his belt. His eyes went wide.
"Awe son of a bitch damnit!" he said throwing the handle to the ground.
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